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: A little bit about confidence

A little bit about confidence

16 Aug


That’s a question I used to ask myself a lot when I was younger because I was most certainly not a confident person. This isn’t to say that I’m a super confident ego maniac now becasue I’m not and I’m not writing this to boast about how amazing I am either, nor do I have all the answers on how to be confident or claim that I am the master. But what I do know is my story, and what I did to become more confident, and I now know that there was a reason why I was unconfident as a kid, and there was a reason as to why I developed a bit of self belief  and have grown in confidence of my abilities ever since.

For me, the lack in confidence came with my lack of having a body. Throughout my school years I wasn’t a very big lad. I think the word best to describe me was probably a drain pipe, tall and thin. I still am today pretty much, well maybe slightly more muscular.

This is pretty much what I looked like but taller


I decided that enough was enough and that I was going to go to the gym and get buff, I bought all the relavent protein powders, body building magazines etc.  Obviously I didnt have a clue what I was doing, I thought I could just drink these drinks and id automatically put muscle on as if they were magic potions.

So, I joined my local gym at the age of 15 ( Lied about my age, such a rebel back then), I remember one distinct emotion that ran through me that day …scared shitless.

But I was, I mean there I was a very timid, pale, skinny boy who looked like he needed a good meal with bug dumbo ears going into a gym which didnt have any personal trainers and the fitness staff were about as much use a condom with holes in it, and I was about to embark on my journey from scrawny to brawny. The only problem was that I didn’t have a clue how to do it.

I remember my first day like it was yesterday. I started off on the bike for a few minutes before I got bored, then moved to the treadmill, did a little walk, all the while I was looking at the weights room,  waiting for an opportunity for it to be quiet so I could go in and be unseen and not make a fool of myself. There’s one thing I learnt quickly about the weights room and that was “it never gets quiet, ever!”.  After walking for a little while longer and hovering around by the weights room I decided that, that was enough for one day. I did more than usual, my emotions were a wreck and it was time to go home.

This charade carried on for about 2 weeks.

Finally I plucked up the courage to walk into the weights room and try a few things out. Id been watching like a stalker the past two weeks at what people had been doing, so id remember a few easy ones to do. First up was the leg press, I did about 3 reps and definitely had too much weight on as it nearly broke me in half.

So I decided that was enough of legs, for about another 5 years. I didnt need them anyway since I always wore tracksuit bottoms and I would only have my top off …eventually.

With the idea of having big legs firmly out of my mind it was time to concentrate on the more important muscles. Arms and abs baby yeah!!!

Even though I didn’t really know what I was doing and I was quite scared of being there, it felt good. It felt like I was going to get somewhere eventually, and this stuck in my mind and kept me going back. I didn’t see very drastic results for quite a while, and after about 6 months I was more comfortable being there, I had found a routine from a body building magazine, I had become a bit of a regular face at the gym and had even started talking to people, even the big guys who threw the weights around like they were feathers would talk to me and give me advice, maybe they felt it was necessary for my health before I killed myself. But either way, I had over come a fear, a fear of embarrassment, of  failure and I had grown in confidence, albeit a very small amount, but it was a start.

The confidence grew more and more over the years too, as a lad who goes to the gym to get a little bit bigger there is nothing more satisfying than someone telling you that you have actually got bigger with the words ” bloody hell you’re looking big” when you haven’t seen them for a few months. They may as well tell you you’ve won the lottery. And it is an ego thing, which there is nothing wrong with as its just the same for someone who goes to the gym to lose weight, when somebody tell’s you that you’ve lost weight or you jump on the scales and you’re a few pounds lighter, its a fantastic feeling.

I could drag this on and on but this isn’t my autobiography, I’ll have that in a few years :) . But the reason I started to get a bit more confident was all because of my decision to start going to the gym, to face my fears and throw myself in at the deep end and just do it.

If a small skinny lad from the Wirral can do it, so can you. You just have to take the first step.


For me, there are steps I take and things I do constantly that contribute to a boost in confidence

1. Be up for anything and always accept a challenge

I would often be fearful of the unknown and obsess over situations that havent even happend only to find that when they did, they weren’t that bad after all.

2. If you want to do something then do it

This is probably my biggest thing I live by. If I want to do something, I’ll more often than not do it, without much thought or time to let negative thoughts step in the way

3. Think only positive thoughts and stay away from and negativity

This for me goes with staying away from negative people too, they only bring you down. So I try to distance myself as much as possible from them and surround myself with others who have the same positive, happy nature as myself.

4. Take care of my body

This goes without saying that you feel 10 times better if you’re happier with your body

5.  Be Grateful

Being grateful for what you have is a great way to divert your attention away from what you do not. You’ll be amazed at how happy you’ll feel with what you have.

6. Watch a motivational video

I would and still do watch motivational videos on youtube ( is that weird? I do it anyway)

7. Dress smart

This one isn’t a joke either. If you’re not happy with your looks then there isn’t much you can do about it apart form surgery so just accept and get over it, but you can look your best. I may not be the best looking guy in the world but I always dress my best and that makes me much happier :)




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